I have come to realize as I have written earlier that I do not enjoy conflicts, and that includes small or bigger disagreements at home as well with my husband. I have realized that I have some sort of picture that one should not be having disagreements in a healthy relationship. My realization is of course that what is not healthy is the expectation that all communication should just “run smoothly” and be “similar to one another”. In a conversation with one of my wise girlfriends we came to the conclusion that it is necessary to put things on the table and if both can see that we out of disagreement can understand eachothers needs better we will come out stronger after. To be scared of thinking differently is the thing that will not nurish the relationship.
Compare the relationship between a couple to that of an effective team. Would anything be competed if all team members were like-minded? Would they get to know eachother if all they did was say yes to one another? If the team has the trust it needs it will most definately be most efficient when all team members equally show their plates and dare to question one another. With trust that questioning will lead to a positive outcome, for no one will react in a defensive way.
So for a healthy relationship to bloom, think of the trust between you, build on that for a strong ground and then dare to show your true self – and in disagreements, seek to understand the other truely. From that I believe you will grow together and not apart.