What has dawned on me lately (mostly due to the amount of hours spent in meditation on the silent retreat last week) is that I have led myself to believe that the amount of time spent meditating daily has been enough.
I have reminded myself to be present moment to moment whilst for example doing household chores or spending time with my family. I have tried to meditate a couple of minutes here and there when I get the chance and thinking this was enough for me.
What landed in me in the days after being on the retreat was quite astonishing. I realized that my body actually got a chance to communicate, and there was someone on the recieving end, not someone that was busy planning what to do next or thinking about how I am as a mother or longing to be somewhere else or wanting to experience something else.
My mind really had time to relax, and the amount of time in that relaxing state enabled my body to let things come up to the surface. And there I was, noticing things.. first and foremost the greatest realization was the fact that I want to meditate everyday for at least 15 minutes. I want it and I need it for every time I meet myself in that space all becomes clear. Secondly I have been drinking way too much coffee.. the speed the coffee brings has been poison to my ability to stay present. And I realized that the high of a longer meditation session beats the quick rush of coffee ten times over!
So I will continue to invest time in this thing called meditation and hold on to it as I continue to feel that the benefits are always greater than the time spent.